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Stage 4 Breast Cancer Warrior, Advocate, Librarian, Gamer

My Latest Posts


  • Waking Up Sad
    I don’t usually wake up sad but today as I was running through the random thoughts of the morning it hit me that I miss my job. I miss working. I miss seeing my favorite coworkers every day. I’m kinda pissed that I thought I forged connections that dropped me as soon as I noContinue reading “Waking Up Sad”
  • When
    I sit here in the same place At the same time Wishing I was somewhen I can no longer be A place where I love my body A time when I hated it less Before it betrayed me Or I betrayed it Before it broke Kaput Unfixable FUBAR I want to remember it didn’t doContinue reading “When”
  • Stuck and the Point of Fair
    I hate feeling like I’m stuck in place. I was talking to a breast cancer buddy and we were ruminating/complaining that we worked through school, built an amazing career, did everything we were told to do to become productive members of society and then we get cancer and everything we’ve ever worked for is justContinue reading “Stuck and the Point of Fair”
  • Road Trip
    Having a good day today. Hoping to be released from weight restrictions by my surgeon today after the Oophrectomy. Driving the 4 hours with my hubby. Wishing he wasn’t such an aggressive driver so I could relax and read the new horror novel I picked up: The Girl From the Well which is soooo creepy.Continue reading “Road Trip”
  • Truth and Other Lies
    I’m fine. I always say this. I am actually not fine. I don’t want to freak people out. I don’t want to say the word cancer and watch as it changes the entire landscape of a face. I’m tired. Always so tired. And when I have a bout of energy it never lasts as longContinue reading “Truth and Other Lies”
  • Breakthrough
    Forgive your body. It did not choose this. It did not want to betray you.
  • Invasive
    I’m recovering from surgery. I had my Oophrectomy three weeks ago tomorrow. I’m really struggling with not being able to do things for myself. All I wanna do … is have some fun. (Couldn’t help it.) Seriously though, I just want to be able to do things for myself again.Pick up my laptop. Put awayContinue reading “Invasive”
  • Withered
    I’m waiting for my garden to bloomto blossomto sprout and flourish But the heat moves in like radiation.Stealing the life from my fragile shoots.The parched stalks wither as I look onhelpless. I stand ready to offer aidSuccorBut the rejuvenation I wish to supply feels too littletoo late Can I save these wilting buds?Can I saveContinue reading “Withered”
  • Hot Flashes and Other Side Effects From Hell
    Yesterday I had one of my lovely oncology visits. Nothing has changed. My white and red blood cells are low. My immune system is shot. But nothing is indicating the cancer is spreading. So that’s good news. My doctor still isn’t able to entirely help with the side effects and I’m convinced that the hotContinue reading “Hot Flashes and Other Side Effects From Hell”
  • Fun with Chronic Illness
    I’m currently reading Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illness by Kristen O’Neal and I’m loving it. Caveat: By currently reading I mean I just started it and am a whole 4% complete according to Libby. HOWEVER, the first paragraph grabbed me by the shoulders and said “You are not alone!” I’m already going to recommend thisContinue reading “Fun with Chronic Illness”

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